Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
