Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
