I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
