Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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