sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
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