honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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