Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
