i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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