just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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