where am i from again
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
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It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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