Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
