Do you still have your period?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
