I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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