my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
