But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
