I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
she peed on how many people?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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