Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
