Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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