Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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