Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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