I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm too high and old for this...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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