i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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