wat bout pragnant strippers??
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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