Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
