Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
