I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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