I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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