I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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