sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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