just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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