why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
