Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
