I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
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I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
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You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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