I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize