I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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