hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Randomize
