Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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