just come out here and I will go home with you...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
