i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
