I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
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He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
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I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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