You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
