so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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