They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
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How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
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Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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