DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
