Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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