I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
