What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
