just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
