Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
