# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
no you cant smoke seaweed
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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