My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
