Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
