i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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