Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
