why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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