I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
