When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
