I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
