At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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