Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
