I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
