I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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