It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
