Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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