I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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