Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
These tits shall not be calmed
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